


Home for Next Year

by XV_ictorious



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Children, F/F, Long-Distance Relationship, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23910913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XV_ictorious/pseuds/XV_ictorious
Summary: Seven years following the end of the war unifying Fódlan, Marianne Goneril von Edmund finds herself alone after her wife, Hilda, must return to her family home to care for her brother, Holst, who has fallen ill.
Relationships: Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Home for Next Year

_My Dearest Marianne,_

_I hope you’re reading this letter while in a good state of mind. I know how you can be during stressful times such as these. I wish I could be with you now. I miss your warmth. But I can’t leave my brother while he’s sick. I know you understand. It’s taking everything I have not to come back to you right now._

_I’m sure you would be happy to hear that I’ve arrived at my family home now. As I write this, I’ve been here for a few days to get settled in. I’m so sorry I didn’t write to you any sooner. My parents are both panicking right now and I’ve been keeping them calm as best I can. But I’ve just been so tired from taking care of them and Holst these couple of days that I haven’t had the energy to write. I’m sorry for that, I can’t imagine how worried you’ve been to hear from me. But I’m doing okay all things considered._

_Holst keeps drifting in and out of sleep. He’s clearly not doing well. He says these things in his sleep that worry me. Something about Almyra and an uprising. That can’t mean anything can it? Oh, I hope not. If something like an uprising really were developing what would that mean? I’m sure Khalid can handle it. It’s still hard to believe that he’d been hiding his real name from us for so long. But he was always one for secrets. Anyway, if there really is that kind of unrest in Almyra, do you think something might happen?_

_I’m sorry, I shouldn’t worry you over that. You have so much on your plate to deal with right now. How are the kids? I hope Lily isn’t causing you too much trouble. She can be a bit too rambunctious now and again. And take good care of Bernard. He must be lost without me there. Oh, I miss you all so much! Make sure to give them lots of hugs for me, okay?_

_This letter has gone on for quite a while now hasn’t it? I just miss you already. I don’t know when I’ll get to see you again. Please take care of yourself most of all during this, Marianne. I love you._

_Your loved,_

_Hilda Valentine Goneril von Edmund_

* * *

Marianne sighed as she laid the letter lightly on her walnut desk. The open envelope adorned a red wax seal bearing the Crest of Goneril. Spring rain pattered against the glass window to her left and on the wooden rooftop above. A burning candle on the desk’s shelf filled the air with the smell of lavender. She ran her fingers up and down the parchment, felling the slight texture from the words written in ink, soaking in the faintest essence of the author. Her eyes began to water, empty of the sight of her beloved. And she rubbed the silver band embellished with a single pink diamond on her left ring finger. Already, this was all too much for her. Hilda was her source of stability and comfort. For all her faults, she would always be there when she was needed the most. But now, in her absence, Marianne felt once again like her days at the Officers Academy.

Bringing her hands together, and closing her eyes, she whispered a prayer, “Dear Goddess, please watch over Hilda. Holst, too. They need your protection right now.” She sat in silence for some time, letting her words travel to meet their recipient. “And please help me through this. I don’t know if I can make it on my own.” In the minutes that passed, the rain outside grew heavier until it became a storm, to the point Marianne could not hear the voices in her head.

She let the sound of the rain and the scent of her candle lift her away, imagining herself as a bird, flying over the streets of Derdriu. Streetlamps were beacons, guiding her through the storm. Below her, citizens just getting out from a night of leisure scramble to find shelter in their homes, holding whatever they can above their heads, to keep themselves dry while in transit. Some were fortunate enough to carry umbrellas while other must make do with nothing more than their hands. The heavy drops of water hitting her wings and the wind brushing against her feathers, keeping her aloft, she almost felt free. But a strike of lightning brought her back to herself. She gasped and panted, her heart beating unusually fast. She placed a hand on her chest to feel the pulsing of her heart, in an attempt to calm down. Soon, the thunder shook her house just enough she could hear the jewelry left behind when Hilda departed, hanging from the mirror on her bedroom vanity clinking against each other. One necklace fell from its perch with a thud on the violet carpeted floor.

When Marianne stood up from her desk to return the necklace to its rightful position, three quick taps came from the outside of the shut door, followed by a small streak of light emerging from a crack between the door and frame as it opened. A pair of pink eyes accompanied by short, messy pink hair peeked through the crack. A voice like a squeak came from him. “Momma?” he asked, “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Marianne paused when she crouched to retrieve the fallen necklace, turning to face her child, “Of course, Bernard. Is the storm scary?” She gave him an affirming smile, hiding that she was scared too, but not from the thunder shaking their home.

Bernard creaked the door open, letting the light from the hallway leak into his mothers’ bedroom. “Uh-huh,” he said, walking up to Marianne, dragging behind him a black cotton blanket. She abandoned her previous goal in favor of the new one presented to her, and held her arms out for her son to become enveloped in. When she found him close enough, Marianne tightly wrapped her arms around Bernard, one around his back, the other cradling the back of his head, pushing him into her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Bernie. Storms scare me sometimes, too. But they always pass.” Marianne ruffled his hair up some more. “Just like your messy hair.” She released Bernard, and he giggled. His laughter turned out to be contagious, as Marianne giggled with him for a few short seconds. And short they were, for her thoughts quickly turned to another matter. She just wished the storm still on the horizon would pass quickly.

Before Marianne could allow her eyes to droop for too long, the sound of feet stamping along the wooden hallway floor echoed into the room. Following those first signifiers was a girl’s voice, “Mommaaaa~!” Within seconds, a young girl burst into the room, a blue ponytail whipping from side to side as she came to a halt in the entrance. Her yellow nightgown swished with a flourish. The stomping feet became dampened from landing themselves on the carpet.

“Lily! How many times have I told you not to run in the house?” Marianne’s motherly tone kicked in. In truth, her daughter was responsible enough to not be reckless. Besides, Hilda taught both of their children the consequences of breaking their mother’s rules using the one thing she hated most. Doing work. Chores were a regular occurrence at home for the four of them, but if one were to slip up and break a rule, more chores would be added onto their schedule. Including the parents. Marianne and Hilda knew that their kids seeing their mothers take responsibility for breaking their own rules would teach them to take responsibility themselves. And it worked wonders. Usually.

Planting her feet in the doorway, Lily stood frantically. “I know, Momma. But there’s a huge spider in my room! Can you get it out please?” Her voice shook slightly and she spoke almost too quickly to understand.

“There’s no need to be frightened by just a spider, Lily. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt you.” Marianne took Bernard’s blanket in hand and wrapped it around his shoulders. “Why don’t you climb into bed while I go take care of our eight-legged friend, okay?” Bernard nodded and did as his mother asked. She stood, taking the fallen necklace in her hand. It was one of Hilda’s older crafts, which was evident by way the copper links clouded from a lack of polish. Yet the small emerald that centered the piece was as sparkling as ever.

The now thirty-year-old Marianne walked over to her daughter, feet dragging with each step as she slid her house slippers across the floor. She took her daughter’s hand in her own. “Show me where you saw the spider and I’ll make sure it can’t bother you. Afterward, you can sleep in my bed with me for being such a brave girl. How does that sound?” Lily responded with a nod and a light whine while she held her other hand up to her mouth in a fist, trying to contain her fear. The hand Marianne held clamped on as tight as it could. It almost hurt. _Lily’s getting stronger than I thought,_ Marianne thought. _She certainly takes after her mom._

Lily led her mother down the hallway, walking just a single step ahead of her, trying to prove she wasn’t actually scared. Deep green wallpaper with a colorful floral pattern lined their vision. A few sconces holding candles kept the hallway lit, though not all the candles held a flame. It wasn’t late enough to turn the lights out yet. When they came to a corner of intersecting hallways, Lily stopped at a shut door on the right.

“Okay, dear. Do you remember where the spider was?” Marianne spoke to Lily. She shook her head.

“It was on the floor. But I thought I saw it run after I swatted at it.” Lily brought her free hand to clutch her mother’s. “Please find it, Momma.”

Marianne patted Lily’s head. “Don’t worry sweetie. I’ll make sure the spider won’t hurt you.” She opened the door and just as she entered the bedroom, turned back to face Lily once more. “Just stay there, okay?” To which she simply nodded with her eyes wide and arms tucked into her chest.

With a snap of her fingers, Marianne cast a spell creating a small light source in the palm of her hand. Though dim, it’s glow was enough for her to see everything just enough to orient herself.

The family was fortunate enough from having generous support from their friends, especially Khalid and Byleth, when they first established the United Kingdom of Fódlan as a means of thanking them for their participation in the war. So the kids were able to have their own separate bedrooms. And Lily’s, it would seem, was a mess. Books lay scattered all over the floor, leaving hardly any room for Marianne to step. Crumpled pieces of paper as well as fresh sheets formed what felt like a mountain on a desk against the wall. A wooden training sword and lance simply lean into the far corner. “Lily, honey. You’re going to be cleaning all this up tomorrow, okay?” She didn’t need to ask. It wasn’t a question. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to be that stern when her daughter was so frightened.

“I know Momma, just hurry up please! I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in my room! It’ll get into all my stuff and hide until it jumps out and bites me.” She waved her arms around, accenting words with no particular pattern to convey her frustration. Now she was restlessly raising herself up onto her tiptoes, shifting her weight back and forth between each leg.

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry sweetie.” Marianne gave her a smile before trekking fully into the den. Shining her light all around the room, there was no immediate signs of the arachnid invader, but Lily wouldn’t lie about something like this. The most obvious place for a spider to be hiding was under the bed, so Marianne lowered herself onto her knees to give it a peek. What she found were more stacks of books, shoved under there with no care for order. But upon further inspection, she saw light glimmer off of small eyes near the corner underneath the bed. “There you are,” she whispered.

She took in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. With her free hand, Marianne let out a faint chill stream of air to cool down the spider enough for it to be calm. She then stretched her arm into the corner and gently grabbed hold of the fuzzy creature. As carefully as she could, she pulled the spider out from under the bed. She looked up to the doorway, seeing her daughter fiddle with her hair. “I got it, Lily!”

Once these words found Lily’s ears, she perked back up. “Oh, get it out get it out get it out!” She ran back toward her mothers’ room.

“No running, Lily!” Her efforts to keep her daughter from being too disorderly were a waste with no response. Oh well, at least she didn’t kill this spider in her panic. She brought the spider to the front door of their house, a well-crafted door made of mahogany, with a carving of a design depicting a combination of both her and her wife’s crests etched into it. Four rectangular patterned glass windowpanes take up the upper half of the door.

Marianne opened the door, the sound of rain hitting the stone street just outside filling her home’s entrance, and knelt on the welcome mat that read exactly as expected. It was Hilda’s idea. She extended her arm, spider in hand, and encouraged it to crawl away, having now warmed up enough from the chilled air due to her hand heating it. “Please don’t go around scaring any more children, Mr. Spider.” She watched it crawl out into the night, and shut the door, making sure to lock it.

After returning to her bedroom, she found both Bernard and Lily under the covers on opposite side of her bed, whispering to each other. She couldn’t make out the words but that’s okay. They deserve to have their own time for themselves, without her watching over them. “Are you two ready for bed, then?” Even their time would have to be cut short every now and again.

First Bernard spoke, “Yes Momma!” Lily followed suit in a softer voice, likely tired from the excitement.

“Great, then let’s turn out the light.” Using magic once again, Marianne chilled the tips of her fingers and pinched the candle wick on her desk. She walked over to her bed, which lay in the center of the back wall of this master bedroom, with a night table on either side. “Excuse me, Lily,” she said when she came up to the bedside. Lily briefly left her previously claimed spot to make room for her mother to climb in. Once she settled in, she patted the spot on the bed where Lily had just left. “Okay, come on up. There’s room.”

Lily lifted the large blanket and resumed her former state of comfy.

Marianne wrapped her arms around both of her children and pulled them close to her. “I love both of you so much. Promise me you won’t let anything bad happen to each other, okay?” Tears formed in her eyes. Without Hilda there to comfort her, Marianne felt herself losing control. When would she come back? Would she ever come back? What if the things she wrote in that letter were true? Is there going to be an invasion from Almyra? If it stays like this for too long, how will she be able to handle the store? Hilda’s not here to keep making jewelry, and she’d always been too clumsy to make any herself. Things weren’t going to get better any time soon. She knew it. How could they? She squeezed tighter onto her kids. They need to be able to live better lives than she has. That’s why she came back to the Monastery all those years ago. She wanted to see a future where the next generations would be able to live in peace. Have lives not dictated by their heritage or whether or not they bore a Crest. And Khalid was the best person to see that future come to light. _Oh Goddess, please. I need you now more than I have in so many years. I’m already falling. Give me the strength I need to get through this. For however long it takes. I can’t do it on my own._

Bernard’s voice lifted her from her mind. “I promise, Momma.”

Lily followed with, “Me too. I promise.”

She sighed, easing the pulling of her children. “Good. Now, you better keep those promises, or I will be very upset.” The two children gave a wordless grunt of affirmation in response. She didn’t need anymore than that.

The sound of the rain against the rooftop occupied the entire room, only disturbed by the feint breathing of the three lying in bed. Marianne kept her eyes closed, yet was unable to sleep. She suspected neither Lily nor Bernard were sleeping, either. That was okay. They’re without their other mom, just as she was without her wife. All three of them were stressed. A soft voice pierced through the other sounds filling their night. It was Bernard’s. “Momma, what’s that letter on your desk?”

Startled, Marianne didn’t respond for several seconds. She thought maybe she could get away with feigning sleep. Then she thought he deserves an answer. “It’s from Mom.” She paused for another moment. The still air in the room felt heavy. “Did you read it?”

There was no answer for what felt like minutes. “I didn’t understand all of it.”

All she could come up with was a simple, “Okay.” She wanted to tell him not to go through her things without her permission. She wanted to tell him there could’ve been something very private that he wasn’t ready to know about yet. She wanted to tell him to stop.

A feeling of dread lingered in the air above Marianne. Just high enough to feel the pressure, yet just too far that she couldn’t reach it to push it away. And so she laid there, awake, awaiting something to happen. Wanting to be torn away from it all. Wanting to be freed from the guilt and the shame and the fear. Why do bad things always seem to find their way into her life? Why can’t she just live her life without anything weighing her down? Why did she have to be cursed to a life of misery for everyone around her? It’s all her fault. It’s always her fault.

Closing her eyes, she imagined herself as a bird once more. This time, instead of rain coating her feathers, it was ash. The world below her burned and she glided just above the flames, feeling their heat without getting burnt. She couldn’t even recognize where she was or where she was headed. Everything underneath her was rubble. The smoke invading her nostrils carried with it the sour scent of fate. The lives lost and memories forgotten evaporated into the sky like they were nothing. Simple fragments of a time imagined to be better. The moon glared a blinding red beam, piercing through her. The more she flew over the ravaged city, her wings grew heavier, carrying the weight of all those she would never know. _I'm sorry, Goddess. I promise I'll be better._

Another small voice chirped into her ear, ripping her back into her body, Lily this time. “Is Uncle Holst going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, sweetie.” She clutched her chest.

“Is Mom going to be okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is there going to be a war?”

“I don’t know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first time tackling writing fan fiction, so I hope you enjoyed. I wanted to provide for such a wonderful community, and for a game that means so much to me, especially these characters. It was a joy to write, and I hope you'll follow me through the journey that this story takes, I'm sure you'll like it just as much as I'm liking writing it.


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